So the update: I am back in Baltimore now as of Dec. 28th, having completed my last dose of chemo on 12/8, then celebrating Christmas with the fam (although sadly less than expected number of fam, with Robert and kids canceled by ill-timed Nor'Easter). The ride back was uneventful, split over two days.
My blog suffered along with me. I guess I wanted all to be perky and upbeat and reassuring to everyone to show how strong I was and how wonderful everything was going despite this nasty diagnosis. The truth is that Cancer Sucks (as stated by buttons worn on the nurses' lapels at the chemo center) and my mind and body just became worn out and down by the barrage of poisons and run of complications that I had. I didn't want to be a bummer, and I guess that most of you could read between the lines (or lack thereof HAHA).
The last half of chemo I received Taxol (a drug which my very own Dad was principally involved in bringing to clinical testing- a story I wanted to tell but ran out of energy to do so) and Taxol had its own panoply of side effects. While the horrible nausea was absent, the new mix of severe bone/joint pain and neuropathy was in the package. Walking became painful, and I backed off on my refreshing and enjoyable doggie walks. The neuropathy involved that feeling one feels when an leg falls totally "asleep", I mean TOTALLY, and then "wakes up" with that not classical acute pain, but a severe degree of discomfort, tingling, and weirdness. That feeling was near constant for fingertips and feet. Typing was hard and between the bone pain and the feet waking up, movement was difficult. Pain treatment ensued which escalated from Advil-type meds to narcotics, to a narcotics patch. The pain was mostly, but not totally controlled, plus I felt like I was losing my mind at times. La-la land is not all that fun.
So, that is the summary for most of December. The pain is much improved now and I have my mind back, although I am still on meds and weaning slowly as the symptoms continue to subside. Even though the drug is gone, the damage is done and these effects can last from weeks to months. It has been 3+ weeks since last dose, and I look forward to continued improvement.
The good news is that despite the fireworks last night, I had the best night's sleep I've had in months; thanks to being in my own bed and my bed being a Tempur-Pedic bed (one of the best personal indulgences one can indulge in)! I also woke up with my mind working and with energy to "do things", and I feel good today. That is a good thing, to feel good. Really. Until you don't have it. I am so looking forward to just feeling good frequently! And I know it is already happening.
The last treatment phase is radiation therapy (local, not whole body) which I will need daily (except for weekends) for 4-6 weeks, and I've switched to Johns Hopkins for that and further care. I meet with the radiation oncologist on Jan 5th and will know more details then. Somewhere down the road after that...reconstructive surgery...YAY MORE SURGERY! But I am pulling a Scarlett O'Hara and I am not going to think about that today, I will think about that tomorrow. One step at a time.
So that is the update, and I am looking forward to a better year in 2011. What a 2010. So much still to think about going forward. But I look forward to getting back to work, continuing to learn in this lifetime of mine, and keeping all of you in my life. Thank you all, truly, for all your kind cards, letters, bits of pink-beribboned clothing and accessories, and mostly for keeping me in your thoughts, and for your best wishes.
So best wishes for a Healthy and Happy New Year to All! Really. Truly. Especially the Healthy and Happy part. From my heart.
